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Looking back on a rocky road in the Scenic City – a tale for friends and family
Here we are two and a half years later. I have bid adieu to the ‘noog. It is not without sadness that I leave this little city on a river. I have met some of the most intriguing, wonderful, loving people here. I have also encountered the most backward, judgmental, hateful people as well. The city has come a long way from being what Walter Cronkite called “the filthiest city in America.” Unfortunately – things seem to have stalled. There are probably innumerable factors that have slowed or even halted, really, the great momentum of CHA. The great publisher of this paper (one of my first, key indicators that I could live here and one of the city’s undervalued treasures) said – “when you pull out – we’re going to give you a full page.” Well…I don’t want to take all your time and have decided that those who get it, know it – those who don’t, won’t. [This story is, therefore, a private rant for those I love or who are interested] I have pulled together some bullet points outlining the key reasons I had to go…in no particular order – some will include a little explanation – some will be painfully obvious – some, I suppose, may be cryptic.
o June Griffith – Chattanooga’s favorite hatemonger
o Mayor DooLittle – what’s Ann Coulter up to? Period costumes? Really?
o Parking meter madness – I don’t believe I’ve ever been ANYWHERE that has meters that run on the weekend – and certainly not until 11 PM. Way to annoy and discourage residents and visitors alike!
o 81% of the people of this state voted to exclude their friends and neighbors from enjoying the same rights as them.
o Zach Wamp
o The fact that a liberal republican and conservative democrat had to run as mirrors of whom they really are.
o Now - Berke vs. Brock. Really?
o McBayliePS – does it really matter where you went to high school once you’re over 20 years old? Really? REALLY?
o “Do what?” Has everyone forgotten the phrases “pardon me?” or perhaps “excuse me?” even “huh” sounds less dumb. “Beg Pardon” is charming. Incidentally – most times the other person hasn’t asked you to “do” anything.
o CNE (Chattanooga Neighborhood Enterprise) and the most inept building management I’ve ever encountered.
o The insanely artificially-inflated downtown housing market.
o Building a hobo mall doesn’t address the multiple car break-ins and regular aggressive panhandling on Market St. – or as it’s known the intersection of Super-fancy & Ghetto.
o Getting assaulted and beaten in the bathroom of a favorite hangout by ignorant, drunk frat boys.
o Little chance of growing my business – attention local businesspeople – if you hire expert consultants with lots of experience. Listen to them and pay your bills. You are not the only company that does what you do and quite possibly you are not the best one on the planet. (on a personal note: asking to be paid for delivered work product prior to undertaking additional work on a project nine months past due - is not walking away from said project – mkay?!)
o Patten Towers
o The notable lack of a middle class
o Very little chance of dating – this is a great town if you’re married or partnered (or 19 and want to have 10,000 babies).
o The single most negative colleague I’ve ever worked with and the primary reason I left my job and therefore eventually CHA…
o The Drive-Thru Bank district (or DriBa – as it’ll likely be branded!). Still need another one in that lot Berry, Hunt & Yarbrough? “Districts” in general, in a city this size. TriPoints (Tripe-O?)?
o Float a bond and buy out several of the Republic Parking properties to offer free (first hour only) and reasonable parking downtown or forget retail development. Take a look at how Savannah handles their parking for example.
o Mediocrity that passes for competence. Just because you’re the only one that does something or you’re funded by old money doesn’t mean you’re the best or even good.
o In The City Quasi-governmental entities that operate with public funding and in cahoots with a commercial entity shouldn’t be allowed to compete against competitors of said company.
o Less God. More Mod. No more regressive decisions based on "the Lord." No more TV stations deciding what Chattanoogans can or should watch. No more two steps forward and three steps back... I realize it's the buckle of the belt...but ya’ll are in serious danger of being left behind. Prospective residents and companies may begin to (or continue to) shy away if we continue our - sometimes disrespectful, exclusive, decidedly un-Christian, judgmental - ways. Believe and worship as you wish – but – if it continues to be crammed down people’s throats – Chattanooga will be nothing but a picturesque, moribund, backwards Southern city.
I’m proud of my time here. I think I accomplished a great deal. I think I made a positive impact on the people and businesses I encountered. I think I wrote some nifty articles for this paper. You may think this sounds like sour grapes – but let me assure you – they were sweet and fruity when I got here (insert whatever joke you wish here). There are some remarkable retailers and restaurants – and I’ve celebrated them in the pages of the Pulse… Anyway - this should give ya’ll something to ponder, discuss, argue about. In the words of Project Runway’s Tim Gunn: “Make it work people!”
Alas…it’s time for me to go. And when I speak of Cha Cha – and I will – I will be kind. I’m outta here.
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So...that's why. It's nice to be back in the big city.
1 comment:
You made a positive impact on this Chattanooga girl...! Your "stay" may have been short....but you have made a lasting impression on this southern belle from a small southern town...miss ya!
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