OK - so - to the gentleman with the puffy gray hair, fussy glasses, shearling car coat and palazzo pants... "your giant Range Rover is more of a parking problem than the tiny girl's compact car (and she was in her lines) - leave her alone!"
Oh - and - while I'm at it. "Hey - Christmas sweat pants! - my U-turn on yellow as perfectly legal (I even still had the light) and properly executed - so save your attitude for the gym or trading floor or pitch meeting."
There. Back to my regularly scheduled Sunday.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
We're serious. We're traveling together. Hey - look over there.
I'm a renegade because of my unconventional hair...
Having transitioned from corporate life to a great opportunity that allows me the freedom to speak plainly and without code – I’ve compiled a list [with some help from Knock Knock] of the top words or phrases that I will do my best not us utter moving forward. I think it best that we all NOT utter these words, if possible.
I will “circle back” to you and let you know how successful I am or if there are any additions throughout the year.
That said – here we go…
TOP BANNED BUZZWORDS FOR 2012
• Drill down – I’m neither a dentist nor a miner.
• Move the needle - as part of a strategic, results-driven initiative designed to repurpose programs leveraging existing synergies by EOD. GOD – I am exhausted.
• But do you have the BANDWIDTH?! You mean the 1s and 0s? DSL?
• Paradigm shift
• Ping – no – not half of a fun table game, a means of reaching out to communicate with someone.
• Silo – on the farm – not at work.
• Ideate – NOT A WORD
• Curate – unless you’re a gallery owner or director…
• Parking lot – let’s put this phrase in the parking lot indefinitely
• Results-driven – what other kind of activity would you undertake?
• Strategic – and its ugly sister strategic initiative. Again – why bother with the UNstrategic initiatives?
• Outside the box – people still say this?
• Out of pocket – or just unavailable?
• Work-life balance – if you’re using any of these phrases – you likely do not have one.
• Offline – ACK – let’s discuss this one offline.
• Bio-break – really? I just have to use the restroom…
• Per – “Per your request…”
• “Circle back”
• “Low hanging fruit…” why not – going after the easily attained goals?
• Most abbreviations – BHAG, CYA, EOD, PSR, ODC, MIA, PDQ…
If – God forbid – you’d like me to define any of the abovementioned items – well – drop me a note email@example.com and I will begrudgingly [OK – happily} share the information with you.
On to a clear and concise communications year!