Thursday, February 21, 2008

Pickle You, Kumquat!

You know...I smirk or grin every time this commercial comes on...

It's clever, original - and while I like most of the "clean mouth" series - this one really is my favorite. And - when my friend Russell called to discuss it - I knew I wasn't alone.

I suppose my childhood fixation with malapropisms is to blame.

This commercial owes much to Norm Crosby - the undisputed KING of all malaprops! His hilarious mispoken dialogue has tickled me since my youth...

Norm Crosby advises: "Speak from your diagram."

So...enjoy your "decapitated" coffee and smile when you see this ad!

Like the cute blond says: "Fabulous!"

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

My uniquely American day - for better and worse [shame on Fulton County]


It was a day of highs and lows. I am proud to say I voted in the Georgia primary. I wore my Georgia peach sticker with pride. It was a simple, efficient and even pleasant process. Digital, quick and easy.

The same cannot be said for acquiring a Georgia tag for my car. What a convoluted, unpleasant and inappropriately expensive process!

Today marked my second appearance in the lovely Fulton County Government Center (I mean that - it's a neat building). However, the DMV, well, that's a different story. Government employees who are doomed to enforce unreasonable and inefficient policies and procedures, it seems, are destined to be slow and some are drunk with the little power they lord over those of us to who pay their salaries.

Thank you Mr. Purple Shirt for snagging me and making me feel foolish for proceeding to the line I was told to go to the first time I showed up in the room that smells like really dirty laundry. Thank you Ma'am (though I don't hold you responsible per se) for having to get supervisor approval to accept the Tennessee document that your colleague told me I had to get the first time I was there.

CAN someone explain how/why it is reasonable for me to pay 2007 Fulton County tax on a vehicle that was registered in Tennessee through 12/31/07?!?! AND - then to have to pay it again in August of 2008?!?! I understand the renewal-on-birthday system - though it seems inefficient and like a deliberate mechanism for generating undeserved tax revenue from new residents. Since this is the first state (or is it county?!?) I've lived in with a vehicle tax - it makes little sense to me that it wouldn't be prorated for the amount of time I've lived here or from my previous tag's expiration date. And - to the REALLY BITCHY supervisor who barked rude, incomplete answers to my queries - it's about karma lady!!! SO... tax that!!

Many things can be said about Hamilton County and Tennessee - to be sure. However, licensing vehicles in the state of Tennessee is less expensive and less difficult. That - I miss.

SO - from rip offs, red tape and bureaucracy to the process of electing new bureaucrats - I was all over it today. NOW - when do we choose the Fulton County Tax Commissioner?!?!?!?!?!

What I would've said...

To the mid-level managebot at the Fulton County Tax Commissioners office...

"I hope you get some satisfaction from snapping your rude, incomplete responses to the people who pay your salary because one day - you will be on the side of the glass wall that smells like dirty laundry and will be the recipient of less than helpful information delivered unprofessionally."

There. I feel better.

Stay tuned...

Sunday, February 3, 2008

Miscellaneous Miscellanea... catching up

The holidays have come and gone... my cold is almost gone and it's almost black Thursday [Valentine's Day]...

Since last I wrote I've been to L.A. once and Las Vegas twice.

Merry Christmas Mr & Mrs...

Aren't they swell? It was a great 11 days! Our longest Christmas visit ever [and no one got hurt]! There's more to Vegas than the Strip - ya' know?! This desert city is closing in on 2 million residents and really has a lot to offer. In fact - what's neat is winter there is much like winter here in Atlanta.

Hank's at Green Valley Ranch Resort

Highlights of this holiday included great meals [Hank's at Green Valley Ranch; Twin Creeks at Silverton - which is a stunning new room and exquisite menu; Eiffel Tower at Paris - though I had some service issues with reservations and the request of a table; In-N-Out!; Fresh & Easy...] and a really fun show at the Gold Coast - Marie Osmond's Holiday Christmas Spectacular! Say what you will - but the Mormon can sing! And - she has a great sense of humor and gave a lively, festive holiday evening to all in attendance. I think we got a special dose as it was her last show of the run.

Played some slots...shopped the new Las Vegas Town Square (not unlike the Grove in L.A. or a smaller version of Atlantic Station)...back to the ATL...

Russell and I being silly with fab photog Jill Ball

What's really great is my pal Russell then came for a visit and we TORE up the deep down dirty South... and discovered what has to be one of the most exciting new restaurants I've been to in years! I don't make that comment lightly - if you know me - you know! JCT Kitchen was a real surprise. It has gotten good notice here in Atlanta - but - dinner with Russell was amazing. The room is a light, serene, stylish contemporary take on is the food. The service [our amazing server Jameson] was outstanding. The food was too. I can't say enough about this and am most anxious to try the great-sounding bar nibblies. Even their website rocks! One stand-out amongst all the great food was the crisp, simple salad of fresh green beans, romaine lettuce, spiced pecans, slivered apples and light, cold buttermilk dressing. YOWSA! LOVED IT! It's just not often anymore that a menu actually gets me going. This one does. And - it's next to a really cool, preppy men's store. Check out neighboring Sid Mashburn if you need to window shop and walk after dinner.

I was also in Vegas for my beloved mother's 70th birthday. More on that to come. SO glad I could be a part of it. So much percolating right now I'll follow up with more news soon...

OH - and - if you live in a state with a primary/caucus/thingy this Tuesday - VOTE!